Parham to miss Australia Day Test

Parham to miss Australia Day Test

All-time top run scorer in Test Match backyard cricket, Aidan Parham, has been denied his chance to become the first player to pass 4000 career test runs this Australia Day by Svenson selector's controversial rotation policy.

On the advice of the nation's top sports scientists, Parham has been rested for the pinnacle of the backyard cricket year in the name of balancing his workload. But with 3944 career test runs notched up, many are complaining that the viewing public are being denied the opportunity to see a doyen of the game set a new record on the most auspicious of occasions. With suggestions that he may still partake in the Ten10 series to follow the Test, others are questing Parham's cricketing priorities.

Other sports scientists have also come out to criticise the decision. Leading scientist, and French speaker extraordinaire, Dr Glen Ridge von Novak, has stated that he believes Parham could have survived the Australia Day Test, provided that he "sustained his intake of isotons".

When questioned about Parham's workload, fellow cricketer Daniel Kiley remarked "What workload?" Another cricketer, Izzo questioned the thinking behind the decision. "Next thing you know, science will be trying to tell us that Bravias aren't twice as good as any other televisions on the market."

Parham need not worry as either of his nearest rivals Brett Mrowka and James Finamore would need to make around 800 runs during the Test in order to achieve the 4000 run feat before Parham.

Parham will be replaced in the Australia Day lineup by Kiley, who returns from a toe injury sustained in a recent soccer match. It remains to be seen whether Kiley will be able to fully replace Parham's level of chatter in the field.